by Kristina Au
The Week 1 Intensive is over, and now we have about six months of Intersession, with a wide variety of homework assignments: readings, videos, writing, a leadership self-study, and most excitingly – we begin coaching real clients!
While the journey is unique for each participant, here are some thoughts about my experience.
Coaching Practice/Clients
With my peer coach, mentor coach, in the group mentoring sessions, and with my clients, I was…coaching! What a thrill! Top of the roller coaster moments when I nailed it, and bottom of the roller coaster when I was shown a better way. What an unexpectedly humbling experience!
For years, I have connected easily with others, and I fancied (and called) myself a coach. But, through our education in the true essence of coaching, it became clear that my “coaching” was really in fact either mentoring or consulting (and often, advice cloaked as support). The work of rearranging my brain and coming to terms with this took several months to fully embrace. The way through was the practice: putting the ego aside to truly learn the craft and hold space, understanding how to use my natural gifts in a new way to better serve the client – all of this was part of the breaking down to rebuild a solid foundation for true thought partnership with my clients. It comes more naturally now. The practice pays off.
As for getting clients, I reached out to my network, including my new friends at Teleos. During one of the group Supervision Calls, a student from another cohort shared some ideas for client outreach, and from that tip, I was able to get my first clients and from those clients, some referrals!!! There are many ways to reach out and start with clients, and this generosity of sharing is felt throughout the cohort and the greater community within Teleos. Seven months later, I am still working with some folks from this initial outreach. Key learning: Step around the initial fear and make the call/send the email.
Self-Discovery Work/Leadership Self Study
One of the ways we grew as coaches was through a number of exercises, designed to deepen our understanding of self. Through a variety of interesting exercises from Becoming a Resonant Leader, we explored our real self and ideal self, our values, ideas on legacy, life experience – all part of the foundation of knowing ourselves and growing as humans and coaches.
A highlight of the program and this inner work was the Leadership Self-Study. This is a project in which we interviewed 5 – 10 people – friends, family and colleagues – to get personalized feedback on what they notice, appreciate and would like us to do better. During my interviews for the Leadership Self-Study, I gleaned powerful insights in these areas. What was the most fun and interesting were the unexpected comments from close friends and family that reminded me of my gifts and positive traits.
From my friend, Al:
- Notice: Incredible capacity for nurturing with family and others
- Appreciate: The questions I ask – may not be what people want to answer, but I say it in a way that is agreeable
- “You are a gardener of people.”
On the flip side there was feedback that were hard to hear, but accurate.
From Jason, a long-term colleague and friend:
- Do different: Allow a quiet powerful statement to land and marinate. Analogy: like music, you need space between the notes and structure for improvisation.
From my family member, C:
- Do different: Advice giving (i.e., positive attitude) not helpful or welcome in the moment, or at all.
I had to sit with some of this do different feedback for a few weeks before it stopped stinging but am now grateful or the honesty of these conversations. More importantly, these insights have led to changes in thinking and behavior that has improved my relationships, work, and coaching. The urge to give advice has shifted to providing quiet space for reflection with my clients. I’m no longer biting my tongue in these moments! In the busyness of life, it can be difficult to cultivate this type of deep reflection. Having time during Intersession for this dedicated work was an incredible opportunity and gift.
Through to the Other Side
Intersession provides the connective tissue between theory and practice, beginners mind and deepened confidence, Intensives 1 and 2. Through the extensive exploration, learning, and application, a cohort of strangers are prepared to step into Week 2 with a new sense of self and lived experience. Challenging? Yes. Worth it? Most definitely.
