A coaching journal by Kristina Au.
I am a different human now.
March 2024 I started the Teleos Leadership Coaching Certification program, and experienced a thrilling, enchanting, challenging, sometimes painful, exuberant, connected, expansive, introspective, exhausting and exhilarating week.
Over the course of the week, our cohort met and got to know each other and our instructors, were introduced to the program, worked through several learning modules, practiced coaching (so intimidating at first, but it DOES get easier), worked through some self-awareness exercises and danced with our egos, worked towards embracing beginners mind, and began the process of understanding resonant leadership – a key foundational pillar towards becoming a Teleos trained executive coach. From Hawaii to Spain, our cohort would start the day in various stages of the sun’s path. Some of us had to work during the breaks, others were able to fully drop in. All of our collective experience was appreciated, and the team at Teleos HELD SPACE.
I am a different human than I was three days ago.
When I was considering the Teleos program last year, my friend J, a Teleos alum, told me that this program would include an intense experience of getting to know myself. She hinted that this may entail a slugfest with my ego. I had been through a master’s program in leadership development that included deep introspection and learning, and so I thought “ I’ve got this. I know who I am.”
And yesterday, at the end of the day, I was wrecked, but in the best possible way. It was divinely uncomfortable, which seems paradoxical, but somehow was exactly how I felt. I remembered this from the preface of Becoming a Resonant Leader:
“Think and feel as you go. Progress requires reflection – this means thinking and noticing your feelings about the concepts and insights you develop from the exercises.”
As we wrapped up our week of deep learning, connection, and awareness this was what was on my mind:
- How do I bring my authentic self to a coaching session AND meet others where they are?
- What do I have to retool from my past toolbox to be effective as a coach?
- How does this differ from the work I do in HR?
- How can I keep imposter syndrome/ego from getting in the way of the work?
- (F*cking) Empathy. How can I hold that, the client, and myself all in empathy effectively, without it getting in the way or derailing the work?
I tuned into the feelings of deep and conflicting emotions, sat with them. I knew in my bones I was in the right place. Grateful to be in this program with these other exceptional humans. Hopeful because I have lived many turns around the sun and know that I can trust myself, even when I have these difficult feelings. And the Teleos Faculty HELD SPACE. Yesterday, I remembered what J said, and by the time I went to bed, I had remembered to give myself some grace as I work to transform the instrument of myself in service to the profession of coaching. Deconstructing our paradigms and stories takes some time, and now:
I am ready to do this work.
I am ready to unlearn what no longer serves.
I am ready to step into this unknown.
I am ready to listen.
I am ready to build, but most importantly, to grow, to HOLD SPACEfor others.
In gratitude, Teleos.
